Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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