So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize