I want you more than these girls want KFC
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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