it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
