I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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