His pubic hair was longer than his dick
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
