if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
