i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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