Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
