I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
