i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
