Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We had to coat check the pizza.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
