Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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