Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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