How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where are my eyebrows?
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