i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
