why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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