Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize