Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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