The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
