she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
