worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
