A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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