Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
