ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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