they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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