She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
