now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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