I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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