I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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