How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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