Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
