also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have fence marks all over my body
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
