we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
