yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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