you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
