addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Reggie can tackle my bush.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
