Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
