Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
they're like a gay fantastic four
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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