we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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