OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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