I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I didn't notice because vodka
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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