I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
