God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize