awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
