I would go down on you faster than GM stock
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
