They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
