my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize