Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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