just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize