The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
