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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm at about main and main street

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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• (626): View more from California

  i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.

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