well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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