Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
her vagine was all disorganized.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
