i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
