Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize