3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
