I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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