bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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