Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize