Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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